Football Team Taken Out For Ice Cream Anyway

Saturday, September 15, 2012

“Winners don’t always win, winners try their very best,” said Coach London.

After a crushing home loss to in-state rival Virginia Tech, a downtrodden Virginia football team found itself delighted to be treated to Baskin Robbins by second-year coach Mike London. A visibly fired-up London repeatedly urged his squad that they did, in fact, deserve ice cream.

“Winners don’t always win, winners try their very best,” said Coach London, emphatically licking his triple-scoop Very Berry Strawberry waffle cone. “And winners, they get ice cream.”

As fans looked on, London produced a plastic gold trophy engraved with the phrase “Football Champs” and hoisted it over his head. The gesture was met with roars of support from the crowd, the team raising their delicious frozen treats to the sky.

Sophomore quarterback Michael Rocco told us he considers the game, and to a larger extent the season, a success. “Yeah, we lost, but we still get ice cream,” he said, clutching one of the ninety-seven “game balls” London distributed to the entire roster of players and coaches. “They have 31 flavors here!”

“We may not have had the most points, but we definitely had the most heart,” concluded the proud coach. “Now who likes pizza?”