Monday, November 5, 2012
Honor Committee Chair Stephen Nash announced this morning that The Cavalier Daily will soon be facing plagiarism charges, as it was discovered this past week to have stolen 100% of its material from a poorly written, out-of-date website known as cavalierdaily.com.
“I don’t know why the Cav Daily would even consider copying articles from this awful website,” remarked third-year Matt Weyback. “Just look at the numerous grammatical errors, lack of depth and clarity, and absolute incoherence in everything they produce. Why would a newspaper that thinks so highly of itself steal from something this crappy?”
First-year Kevin Mahoney was the first to uncover the scandal. After reading an editorial on cavalierdaily.com that used recursive logic to reach an erroneous conclusion, he picked up a copy of The Cavalier Daily and saw equally recursive logic result in an equally erroneous conclusion. He was immediately suspicious.
“For years I’ve turned to the Cav Daily to find out what bills the state legislature passed,” said fourth-year Joseph Adam. “But those days are no more.” “It all makes sense now,” continued Adam. “I always thought they were just really efficient, because they only spend like 30 minutes piecing together the paper every day, but now I know the truth.”
“I think we’ve finally got ‘em,” concluded Nash, as he rubbed his hands together and licked his chops.
The Cavalier Daily declined to comment on the matter, but the effects of this scandal are already being felt, as the paper is now cutting back printing to twice a week.
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